Updated: Feb 17, 2019
I'd never felt lonely until my thirties, I have a big family and have been in long-term relationships most my life. It was only when I moved to another country at 32 and split up with my significant other I felt really alone. It crept up slowly at first and then when I left my career in media to start up my own company it ramped up a notch. Loneliness is a bitch, a deep empty vacuum that you just can't seem to fill. What makes it even worse is you feel you are unable to tell anyone. When I first started feeling like this I didn't dare tell a soul. Why? Because of the judgement I presumed I would receive. Society has us thinking that loneliness is reserved for the elderly or retired, surely at this age I should be living an exhilarating life with no space for loneliness? Well no. Loneliness didn't work that way for me. From the outside no one would ever think I could be lonely, I am surrounded by people, seem to have a very full life, and I'm finally fulfilling my dreams of being an entrepreneur. So what is it? For me it boils down to one thing: deep human interaction. Sometimes, I will go four or five days without speaking to anyone, so when I do meet a loved one I want invested time rather than just spent time. In a world where our lives have become so busy it is easy to be complacent about the relationships we hold and what we bring to each other. For me, having gone through solitary times, my close circle bring me laughter, good times and love which is vital for my sanity.
It took me over six months to talk about how I was feeling and I was pleasantly surprised at how many of my friends said they had felt it too, one who had been in a relationship for nine years said it was the loneliest she had ever felt in her life. Loneliness can affect anyone, at any age, in any situation. I know there must be so many women out there that feel this way but we don't talk about it for fear of being judged. The best advice I can give is to be kind to yourself, know that you are not alone and be open with how you feel, you will be surprised at how much support is out there.